Thinking About Couples Therapy? Reasons Why It’s Time To Start!
Nine reasons why your relationship can benefit from couples therapy
There are many reasons why couples go to therapy. Sometimes, it is to deal with something in the past, presently going on, or to prepare for the future.
Every relationship has conflict. Learning how to handle conflict can help you resolve difficulties and strengthen your relationship; couples therapy requires a commitment and willingness to be open to learning together.
Sexual problems
People’s interest in sex comes and goes in phases depending on various factors. It can be both a symptom and a cause of relationship problems, which means it is often at the forefront of a couple’s day-to-day complaints. Sometimes, the change is obvious and frustrating; a couple goes from frequent physical intimacy to almost none, which is jarring. Other times, it’s a gradual freeze from being fulfilled by each other sexually to barely being satisfied. Sometimes, there is more overt conflict, with one partner expressing frustration, a partner constantly being rejected, or sex being used as a bargaining tool. Whatever the issue, couples therapy can help you start working on it.
Has the thrill gone out of the relationship?
Longing for physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual closeness that you develop with your partner as you share your lives.
Have the demands and grind of daily life begun to eclipse the ability you connect? Is it simply a matter of re-prioritising? Or has it become more insidious representing two partners who have quietly been growing apart and changing in incompatible ways for an extended period or have even learned to get their needs met elsewhere? Keep striving to find ways to keep your relationship intimate. Building intimacy in a relationship is essential for strengthening a couple’s bond.
You can find out more about couples therapy.
All relationships have rough patches; if you and your partner fight more often than not, it may be time to make significant changes. As you evaluate your future together, a serious option to consider is couples therapy. Couples therapy can be an extremely effective step in mending relationships when both parties willingly participate and want to actively work at improving their situation.
Are your Arguments getting more frequent?
Have you noticed the rhythm of your day-to-day becoming more conflict-oriented? There may be more “small” arguments, or maybe arguments are enormous, leaving the drama in their wake. A pattern of increased arguing is a warning sign indicating a risky trajectory into constant arguing. More importantly, it could mean significant problems under the surface that must be dealt with.
Helping you to overcome difficulties communicating in your relationship
Some couples have a hard time communicating. You may have been raised in families with different communication styles, or negative communication habits have formed in your relationship, making it difficult for you to communicate effectively. When communication gets tough, some couples resort to not talking. Without communication, teams can’t work through the essential things they need to, like parenting, budgeting, being affectionate, etc.
Overcoming a lack of trust in your relationship.
When someone loses your trust, it can be hard to trust them again. Even if the trust-breaking experience happened long ago, relationship counselling could help. In couples counselling, many couples understand what is hurting each other and how they can create healthy patterns not to hurt each other and gain trust. Perhaps there was infidelity in the form of sex, an emotional affair, or a series of lies or deception about money. The rebuilding of the foundation of trust can often be helped by establishing a forum in which both parties are free to express their vulnerability.
Stop the relationship pattern of withholding love, attention or sex as a punishment.
When one is hurt, sometimes they deal with it by withholding essential things like love, communication, attention or sex from their spouse to punish them. This causes many challenges far beyond the hurt each spouse is already feeling. Therapy helps couples find methods of expressing their pain that don’t bring additional hurt feelings into a relationship.
Turn incompatible sex drives into compatibility.
This is a widespread problem that couples face. In every relationship, even if their sex drive is similar, there is one who wants sex more often and one who wants it less often. The range of sex drives varies. Couples therapy helps couples to face and improve the challenges that led them to frustratingly incompatible sex drives and learn how to improve their relationship and the compatibility of their sex drives.
When Trauma Triggers Problems in Your Current Relationships
When a threat situation kicks the autonomic nervous system into gear, it shuts down your social
engagement system and directs all physiological resources toward survival responses of flight, fight, freeze, collapse or submit, or attach or cry for help.
When you are shut down, you can miss or misinterpret interpersonal cues. When triggered, you can often mistake other people’s words and actions as threatening. When an experience triggers someone, they cannot stay in the present in their relationships. And it’s often that inability to stay in the present can set off a new cycle of relational distress. Trauma from past incidents, before or during your relationship, may have significant, even unforeseen, effects on your relationship and everyday coping abilities.
Even if you are ready to separate or end the relationship, there still might be a chance.
When couples hit this point, many still want to help their relationship. They want to help their marriage because they love each other and their children and want to protect their family from the difficulties and pain of divorce or separation. Couples often want to try to keep what they have created together. You can find out more about couples’ intensives.
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